Didn't even smirk.
Often excellent writing can boost performance energy, or strong acting can make mediocre material sizzle and pop. Unfortunately, both fell short. A combination of drawn out gags with no substance and voice acting that was bland and lacked believability made this almost painful to watch.
The nice thing about making a string of gags with no point is that if a few don't work, you can slide in and out of them very quickly and the audience will generally forgive you if the next joke is funny. You can't get away with that when the pacing drags you through the dirt like this. Approaching 10 minutes is way too long for this type of animation.
And you could easily cut it in half by taking out all the jokes that fall flat on it's face, for instance the business card typos near the very beginning. It's not funny to me, and to hear Phoenix's obnoxiously energetic, bad stand-up comedian, 'yuk yuk' voice rub that joke into my face for a good 20 seconds was insulting.
Now granted, no voice actor could have made that wordy mess of faux wit go by quickly, so I will move on to the biggest problem; writing! There's really no other way to say it. The majority jokes wern't funny, and the ones that were were so far buried into a sea of obnoxious dialogue that I didn't want to laugh at that point. The only thing you can do in a situation like that is cut the fat that doesn't work and try something else, or give it to someone else to see if they can do better.
And I really recommend the second one. Rina-chan, you're voice acting is passable professionally, which is like pure stardom in the newgrounds community. There's definete talent...as a voice actor. However, upon watching this and seeing your other skits, comedy writing is not an ability of yours.
Thanks for the review, it seems very well thought out.
Perhaps if you could control addiction...
...you'd know more than only one thing.
I see that a few other individuals have made the point that it was YOU, not video games, who allowed your life to fall into what it was. Good on them. You have noone to blame but yourself.
Too much of anything is not good for you. You say you don't hate video games, and yet I find that really hard to believe. This flash isn't about watching too much TV, internet porn, networking websites, or other electronic medium. You refer to games as wastes of time, which I find insulting. There's all kinds of value to be found in all forms of entertainment. A good game with a story can be just as thought provoking as any novel.
Let me ask a question:
How long did it take you to make this flash?
Also, did you create this flash with a bunch of friends or did you do it sitting alone?
You could make the arguement that sitting in a room creating flash cartoons all day is just as damaging as sitting in a room playing games. Now, I don't think it is, but if you spent hours and hours making flash cartoons, neglecting sleep, food, friends, and other important things, then it's an addiction just as damaging as any other.
Just because you couldn't draw that line between hobby and addiction doesn't mean video games are bad.
Just as boring as what it parodies. Now THAT'S lame.
hurray for lame!
Poor sound design ruined a great animated short.
The artwork and animation was masterfully excecuted, no doubt about it. I can see just how much work was put into it. But, if you're in for a penny, you're in for a pound. You can't expect to be able to dump one peice of serene music that doesn't fit the mood of the animation and expect to be able to create a full experience.
A cartoon is based on both picture AND sound. You can't have a cartoon with just one.
Pacing pacing pacing.
This could have been a lot better. The animation is sufficient, the voice acting works and most of the jokes were funny. Most of the visual jokes worked very well. Most of the verbal jokes fell kind of flat though and that would be due to the ponderously slow pacing. That's what made egoraptor's stuff great is the fact that it's so rapid fire and high energy. This movie could have been hysterical if you cut it to maybe half the length.
lol I am not egoraptor.
It's ok. My big problem is the foley work. If they're robots why are they making fist fight foley? It'd be metal impacts.
lol, yeah, i was looking for gundam sound bytes, but i couldnt find any, yeah i had a lil problem wit it too, but it makes it sound cooler! : D
I liked it!
It's short, sweet, and you get what you expected. Well done! I won't spoil who wins (big deal, but still). I will say however I was pleased with the result. YES! THREE CHEERS FOR LU....err...THE VICTOR!!!
...I have 4 letters to describe this flash: ADHD
Don't get me wrong, it's acctually quite funny in a WTF kind of way. It's just so bizarre. The redhead kinda reminds me of my girlfriend back when she had long hair. <3 I just kept rolling my eyes and laughing when the black haired guy pissed on everything. It's a good flash. Kinda long, but good. I still think agent smith did it!
Stunning. Best animation out there.
The animation was incredible. It looks hand drawn fron start to finish. I thought that this was a huge improvement on the first one. I wouldn't have reviewed this except to say that littlefoot is SO CUTE! He would make the ULTIMATE PLUSH TOY!!! Think about it!
I clicked on this at random. It's short, to the point, and it made me chuckle. A good quickie. The girl's hot, she's made up of all my favorite colors!!!
Thanks! It's meant to be short and random... Glad you think it's funny.. :)
Haha, woah... I've drawn something hot and it doesn't even have boobehs.. AWSOME!
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